Words Matter, they cause harm in areas – from Self-Esteem to Body issues, feelings you may already have about yourself, now compounded and reinforced by the hurtful and harmful Words without regard, spewed by others.
– Yes… Words Matter!
Words spoken are invisible to the eye, but the effects can indeed be both physical and emotional seen by those that are on the receiving end of the attack. There are no take backs once the words are sounded from the mouth of another, for whatever they may believe to be a just reason, there is none!
“Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones – but words will never hurt me.” Oh but…they do…the verbal byproducts can last for Years…and often for a Lifetime.
Recognize The Poison
Verbal poison, criticisms are non-physical and not always apparent, but can be harmful just the same, often more so. Do you have a person in your life with a constant need to Correct you, your Mistakes, with suggestions that Judge?
When they do, another piece of you is whittled away, believing they are assisting in you becoming a better person. When actually it is the Ego boost they are in need of.
“A Poison dart with Honey on the tip still buries deeply.” Carol
When advice, unsolicited feels like criticism, it usually is. Your best defense is to NOT take them personally, for when you do, you give them Power, and diminish your own.
Some may react to a look on your face, seeing they have crossed a line, with responses such as – “I was just kidding,” but really “You are too Sensitive.” These half apologies are often too late, for the hurt is already deeply felt.
Does the other person realize their remarks may be issues already known or believed, as they now intensify your feelings of insecurity?
Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will diminish my Self-Esteem and infect me with the “Disease to Please.” A phrase added by Oprah Winfrey
Verbal abuse does not only come from people we think of as bullies. They can come from friends, family, authoritative figures we trust, compounding the assault.
“The first time people show you who they are, believe them.” Maya Angelou
Avoidance Seldom Works
Many times you try to avoid the person who has brought up these feelings. The wounds can run deep, especially when they bring forward personal issues, that are then compounded if you hold onto them as Truths!
“Our Life is shaped by Our Minds. We become what we Think.” Buddha
As adults, you know how difficult it can be to verbalize, take control, speak to the person about how their words make you feel. Imagine how difficult, even impossible it must be for a child to verbalize these same feelings. Taught from a young age to respect and not talk back to your elders.
Children do not have the Emotional maturity, to deal with situations that require protecting themselves, especially from those in authority. Often children, deny, ignore, or act out, as they continue to keep these feelings hidden even deeper.
Words Matter – Choose Them Wisely
“Words can be as damaging to the Mind, as Physical blows are to the Body.” Patricia Evans
Be Mindful of how others respond to your words, you may realize you also are causing others distress. As you become more aware, adjust how you speak, with gained sensitivity and understanding, you show respect for others.
The respect all Mankind deserves.
Remain conscious of what you may be communicating to others, you may notice the result has a more desirable outcome, when enhanced verbal skills are employed.
“Destroy negative thoughts as they appear. As this is when they are the weakest.” Songide Makwa
Criticism is often used as a teaching tool, but usually has adverse effects. Fear of revisiting the repeated criticism, those harmed, may internalize and shun their own Desires to achieve, often bringing up past criticisms they still harbor. The result, both sides have not gained their desired outcome.
Immune System – Self Esteem
“The cells in the body react to what they hear from the mind. Negativity lowers the Immune system.” Alexander Groseth
How healthy is your Immune System?
When you accept as Truth, the verbal baggage of others, you grant permission for the injury to remain. Names can only hurt if you allow them in, when a flying dart approaches, examine and discern its origin. Does this apply to me, or is this merely the feelings that the thrower feels internally?
Human Nature Warning – After such assaults, avoid throwing a dart back to the sender, resist extending the lease, remaining in this house of pain.
“In any given moment, I might be wounded, but I choose not to act from my wound.” Marianne Williamson
A Wise thought process, that creates a shift to Higher Consciousness. Whenever we look with Compassion to the thoughts and feelings of others, we open our Hearts.
An Open Heart is not a sign of Weakness, but one of Strength!
Peace and Blessings, Carol